Kids Moving Out

Dee Davila got me musing on parenting college age kids.  Today my youngest adult child, a 21 year old college junior, moved into an apartment near campus (on my dime of course!).  Was it necessary?  Not really - I make the 25 minute commute on back roads quite easily each day - but after 5 semesters living 200 miles away on another campus, she just can't fathom college from home.  So how do I feel about this? Honestly, money aside, IB am glad to be getting part of my house back again!  We got used to no girls at home, and in a one bathroom house, having two of them back again is a shock to system (have to say one reason I workout in the early AM is to have a huge faculty locker room to get showered and dressed in when I am done!).

Beth has been home since February, joining her older sister who fortunately has had full-time employment since graduating in January 09, but is waiting to buy a house she should hear on any day now.  Now I love my daughters - more as they get older - but does it make me a bad parent that I have been counting the days until Beth's apartment became available and Katie's house comes through?  I want my house back - I want an office for my dissertaion work so I can stop working in a 2 by 2 corner of the bedroom.  I want all the JUNK where I want it - not where they throw it!  I want to make what we want for dinner and not worry about who won't eat chicken and who won't eat steak (this week anyway!).  I want to clean out the basement and do some home improvements.... does all this make me a bad parent?  I hope not!  I like to think that I am practicing what I preach to our parents - that what we hope our children gain while in college is more than just an education.  We want them to grow into independent, self-sufficient adults who build their own lives, and new relationships with their parents that are parallel lines with frequent intersections, but no longer interlocking.  I personally find that comforting and affirming of the job we did as parents!

So, maybe this might shock or mystify some parents, but my daughter moved out today and I was happy to help her pack, with all my love!

Reflections on a camping vacation

I don't know what it is about a week in the woods at Sebago, but it's always rejuvenating and I come back feeling ready to begin another year. This year's trip was different - no mad family mob like usual- just a few of us this time, but the week was surprisingly enjoyable anyway. The weather was great - a few really cool nights (campfire and quilts in the tent a definite must!) and some great sunny days at the beach! We didn't do a lot, except for the day trip to Portland to look at lighthouses, and that was just fine with me! Time to read (3 books!) and surprisingly I didn't miss the computer and internet at all! Okay, maybe having the Blackberry for email access made that easier, but I really did stick to my plan not to actually respond to mail - just staying on top of it so there are no surprises!

Anyway, living outside in the woods in a tent for a week is good for the soul! I couldn't help but notice the simple things - how clean the air is, amazing night skies with a kazillion stars, the way the tree tops sway when the wind blows - and in doing so realized that these simple things are around all the time but I let life get too complicated to notice or enjoy them. Maybe the best thing I can bring back from this trip is to remember this throughout the year and take time out to reflect on the simple things I enjoy.